Aed jokes
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
Captain Obvious
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
Sup guys, how are you?
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!