Aed jokes
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.