Aed jokes
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.
Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.
As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.