Aed jokes

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

What do you call a girl furry?

A pussy cat.

What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?

Clash Royale still has a tower.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.

What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.