Aed jokes

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

Q: What has two wings and a halo?

A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"

What do you call a bum person with a brain?

A hillbilly.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

What's the difference between me and a bus?

I'm not on fire...

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?

A baby smoothie.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

What do you call a violent fish?

A smackeral!

There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?

A cop.

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.

What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?

The Titanic.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.