Aed jokes
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.