Aed jokes

What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

Simple. All in the ashtray.

What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.

A pa_pıe_rus.

Why is the mermaid so dirty?

Because she is a maid, mer-maid!

McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?

A: Pulled pork.

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?

A rainbow.

Why do a pedophile love Halloween?

Free delivery.

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!

Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!