Aed jokes
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing? Dead mooves.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.