Aed jokes
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.