The 40+ Best Deal Jokes

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

i bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me ill give him 1000 dollars he said deal and i went upstairs

Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂

How is $ex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

just got a iphone 12 for my brother, best trade i've ever made

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team Because I hate dealing with parents.

A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie

Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10

What do you call a pregnant slave. A two for one deal.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...

‎...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movi

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

These came down deep from my heart don’t let me down again, please.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!