My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
i bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me ill give him 1000 dollars he said deal and i went upstairs
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
How is $ex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
just got a iphone 12 for my brother, best trade i've ever made
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team Because I hate dealing with parents.
A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
What do you call a pregnant slave. A two for one deal.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart don’t let me down again, please.
A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movi
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is mestration, Periods, birth... Man: The Men have to deal with Women
