Aed jokes
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.