Aed jokes
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...
Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.