Aed jokes
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Yep
One time I ate a chair.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.