Aed jokes
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Wanna hear a joke?
Police brutality.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What did the zero say to the eight?
"Nice belt!"
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.