Aed jokes
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...