Aed jokes
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.