Aed jokes
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
A baby seal walked into a club.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.