Aed jokes
LewenGOALski
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."