Belly

Belly jokes

Mom

  • Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

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  • Sister

  • A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

    Skin

  • Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

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  • Mom

  • Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

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  • Physicist

  • A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

    Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

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  • Mama

  • Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!

    Ram

  • Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

    Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

    And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

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  • Woman

  • What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

    A belly button.

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  • Blonde

  • A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.

    After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"

    The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"

    The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"

    "Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.

    The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.

    "What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.

    "I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.

    "Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.

    "I was on top!"

    All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.

    "Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.

    "I'm having puppies!"

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  • Fork

  • Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

    Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

    Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

    Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

    Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

    Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

    In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

    With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

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  • Mama

  • Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!

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  • Yo mama

  • The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.

    If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

    Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.

    Your own motheeer makes me giggle.

    Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.

    HEY!

    Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.

    Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree

    Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy

    I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.

    Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”

    And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.

    Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder

    I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.

    Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.

    Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

    Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

    Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.

    MMMMMMM

    ahhhhhh

    ohhhohoh

    Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.

    It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.

    Hey Mama!

    I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out

    but not before I creamed all over her and shout

    “I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!

    Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!

    I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’

    Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.

    A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from

    Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”

    That’s the truth there, baby! Even if

    yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid

    or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why

    Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.

    I want to fuck every MILF on Earth

    it don’t matter how much her ass is worth

    or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure

    Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.

    My body count so high can’t nobody top me

    She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”

    I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”

    Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

    Ohhh, Yo Mama.

    oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

    But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!

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  • Tuxedo

  • My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

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