There were two two twin brothers Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girl friend while Lucas stayed single. A few weeks later Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe I know we're twins but I'm Marcus and that's Lucas you were kissing." and his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda ? Just the Honda.

Becky: Rob you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid! Rob: .....BECKY :3

Bully: "Nobody loves you." Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Just to get things straight I'm NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don't! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?

When Trump goes to the beach he doesn't use suntan lotion he uses Dorito dust. And it stays on for the rest of his life.


Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!