Aed jokes
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
Well shit.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.