Aed jokes
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.