Aed jokes

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?

Black ops.

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.

Now I'm terrified of airports.

Why does a Mexican want to learn math?

To study perimeter.

What is the best item at a Mexican Burger King?

Hopper Jr.

I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

What do you call an under-the-weather seven?

A sick seven.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.