Aed jokes
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."