Aed jokes
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?
Nudacris.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.