Aed jokes
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.