Aed jokes
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."
The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"