Aed jokes
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.