Aed jokes

What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.

What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.

Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?

Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.

I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.

Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.

Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

I started crying when my dad cut up onions.

Onions was such a good hamster.

If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"