Aed jokes
I started crying when my dad cut up onions.
Onions was such a good hamster.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.