Aed jokes
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.