Aed jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
Hi, Charlie, is your friend?
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.