Aed jokes
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Me when my friend talks about a teacher blasting off on a kid
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭