Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
Mug Jokes
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
best mug of the year or what?
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
