Aed jokes

I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

Down Syndrome is already a joke.

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat.

What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?

Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

What do you call a depressed tree?

A wood cutter.

Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?

A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.

I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!