Aed jokes
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.