Aed jokes
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.