Aed jokes

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Why do you call a fat midget?

Jiggly Puff.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll up.

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What do you call an emo with no legs?

Emobile.

What’s an orphan's favorite drink?

Fosters.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.