Aed jokes
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.