Aed jokes
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.