Aed jokes
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry? He goes back "four" seconds!