Aed jokes
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.