Aed jokes
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.