Aed jokes
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?
A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.