Aed jokes
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
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How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
What is a pooper man called? A dentist.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.