Aed jokes
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common? You can't even deal with it!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
You just made a Mist-ake.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!