Aed jokes
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.