Aed jokes

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.