Aed jokes
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.