Aed jokes
Students across America have been spotted playing a parody of the horror game Five Nights at Freddy’s called “7 Hours at Chi Phi”.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"