Aed jokes

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.

What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?

Reality.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.

It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."

My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.

Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les.

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?

He toasts the groom.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?

A minor.

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.