Aed jokes
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"