Aed jokes
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)