Accident jokes

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

What's black and found on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

Q: Why was the pilot sad?

A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

He got a paper cut and bled out.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?