Accident jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Sally fell off the swing.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Sally.

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.

Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

A man walks into a bar.

Ouch!

Two planes crashed into two separate towers.

Now two towers crash into two separate planes.

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

Your family in a nutshell.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!