Accident jokes

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?

He strained himself.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."

What goes hahaha bonk?

A man laughing his head off.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.

Famous last words: "Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

What do gum and guns have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.

Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.