Accident jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
I killed a man in '94.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
What's black and found on top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.