Accident jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

He got a paper cut and bled out.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."