Accident jokes

Mommy, why is my name Brick???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

Mommy, why is my name Rose???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?

Two large planes!

My father always used to say:

"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

Until the accident.

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

I care when my computer crashes.

Poopies in my undies.

They said I couldn't drive.

Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.

(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(

Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?

Because the Titanic hit it.

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

What is yellow but can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!

We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.

What's black, white, and red?

A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

What did John say after someone shot his leg?

Oof!

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.