Accident jokes
Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Memes
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Poopies in my undies.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(