Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Fatal Attraction Parachute
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, genius. So, the parachute didn't want to open 'cause it was super attracted to the ground, like, in a deadly way. Fatal attraction, get it? It's like when you're drawn to something you know is bad for you, like sniffing your own socks, you weirdo.
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