Accident jokes
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
I fell down yesterday.
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.