Accident jokes
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
I fell down yesterday.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.