Accident jokes
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
Memes
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
I fell down yesterday.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?