Worst Jokes Ever

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

Communists don't play Minecraft.

They play Ourcraft.

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.