Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."