Worst Jokes Ever
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.