Worst Jokes Ever
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"