Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

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Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there’s only… 13 of you?" Jesus: “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”

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Why can’t you starve in the desert? – Because of all the sand which is there.

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What’s even funnier than throwing a baby off a building? – Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he get a hole in one.

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What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

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What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?

Their ankles.

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Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?

Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.

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What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world. Put the diapers back on

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What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus?

I don’t know, but I’m sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton.

1

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.

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How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

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What don’t blind people like bungee jumping?

Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!

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What do you call a crippled Tyrannosaurus rex? – Tywalkosaurus rex.

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Look In A Mirror

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

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