Worst Jokes Ever
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Rip Juice WRLD.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.