Worst Jokes Ever
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.