Worst Jokes Ever
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?