Yours jokes
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!