Yours jokes

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."

"That's your lookout."

How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

Either way, they’ll kill your dog.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

Did you get seafood without me?