Yours jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
Sorry mate
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.